Stop Fighting and Start Communicating
April 29, 2010 by Tarcher/Penguin
Filed under Books We Can't Put Down.
Do you ever find yourself walking on eggshells around your loved 
one? Or unable to say or do the one thing that will get your relationship back on track and past your most recent argument?
As an experienced couples therapist, Nancy Dreyfus knows that communication is the key to lasting relationships, but she also realizes that many couples are locked in such painful gridlock that they simply don’t have time for the months of therapy or hours of reading relationship guides it might take to have a meaningful breakthrough.
During a particularly heated therapy session, Nancy hit upon a surprisingly effective solution – the written word:
“A relentlessly critical wife was haranguing her husband, calling a business decision of his “asinine”…. As a last-ditch effort to offer something resembling therapy, I scribbled on a nearby envelope, “TALK TO ME LIKE I’M SOMEONE YOU LOVE,” handed it to the husband and whispered, “Hold it up to her.” And he did. The wife was immediately disoriented, but soon softly acknowledged, “I guess I haven’t been very nice.” The husband sat up straighter, aligning himself with the dignity in the message. The couple made eye contact in a way I had not been sure they were capable of and left holding hands. I was floored.”
This experience inspired Nancy to create TALK TO ME LIKE I’M SOMEONE YOU LOVE, a revolutionary relationship tool packed full of “flashcards for real life” and field notes for every situation. The cards help you express exactly what you want to say, without tone or inflection, so your loved one can take a step back and finally ‘hear’ what you’re trying to communicate.
Glamour.com recently called Nancy’s guide “The most crucial relationship advice book since Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus.” Click the images below to view the introduction and sample pages.
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