Many single vegans worry that their diet will cut down dating prospects. According to Victoria Moran, your options ARE narrowed down, but only if you won’t date anyone who isn’t already vegan. The other option is to date the people you find interesting and let the vegan issue play out as it will. “The frequency and success of your dating is up to you,” says Anne Dinshah, who writes “The Dating Vegans” column in American Vegan magazine. “If you find someone you’re compatible with, in a lot of areas, you work on what you live with and what can be compromised. Just don’t compromise something you’re apt to regret four or five years from now.”

If things get serious in the relationship and your honey eats meat, but respects (and, ideally, even admires) that you don’t, work out the ground rules around kissing after meat eating, what foods will go in your kitchen, etc. Lots of people go vegan after learning about it from someone they date; others just go vegetarian but I could live with a vegetarian (In fact, I do).

Worried about dates that consist of meeting for drinks? Don’t –vegans abstain from animal products, not everything fun, and that includes alcohol.  However, if you’re a vegan and opt to imbibe, you need a bit more information than “Drink responsibly” and “Designate a driver.” A few alcoholic beverages have some animal product in them (often honey, sometimes dairy), and many others are filtered prior to bottling by using gelatin (from animal cartilage), egg whites, or isinglass.

Luckily, there are ways around it. If you have an app like “Vegan Is Easy” on your iPhone or Android, or if you pull up the site, Barnivore. com, you’ll be able to check the status of whatever drink you’re thinking of ordering. If you’re thirsty and phoneless, you should be safe with Beck’s, Corona, Dos Equis, Henieken, Moosehead, or any brew from Sierra Nevada, Miller Coors, or Anheuser Busch.

Sniffing out one hundred percent wine requires a bit more detective work; there are, however, many vineyards that offer several wines that are suitable. Popular brands in clued Smoking Loon (red and white) and Kendall Jackson (whites only). You can even have a fancy champagne celebration with Dom Perignon or Moet & Chandon.

Many vegan men worry that their diet will make them appear less masculine (and therefore less attractive)- after all, in our culture it seems that meat and masculinity are inextricably linked. But don’t fear- first of all, eating a plants-based diet makes people attractive, and any woman will appreciate that! Additionally, vegan diets promote heart health- and heart health promotes sexual potency! What’s more masculine than that!

Pre-order MAIN STREET VEGAN on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, or Indiebound!

If you’re single:

SEEKING HAPPILY EVER AFTER: Navigating the Ups and Downs of Being Single without Losing Your Mind by Michelle Cove is a practical road map to the challenging and ever-more-lengthy life stage known as singlehood. Packed full of informative sidebars, stories from numerous single women, and advice from an author who’s traveled this confusing road herself, this book offers readers the tools they need to be happy in every stage of singlehood.

Purchase on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, or Indiebound.

ARE ALL GUYS A**HOLES? by Amber Madison debunks the myth that guys are sex-obsessed, commitment-phobic, beer-in-hell-serving assholes. She explains that not only do men find comfort in relationships, they fall in love faster than women, and they fall out of love harder. Just like women, they yearn for emotional connection and companionship. Drawing on the results of Madison’s nationwide survey, which  she administered to more than 1,000 guys over the course of a year, she makes the case that deep down, (most) guys aren’t the jerks that everyone, including themselves, think they are.

Purchase on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, or Indiebound.

EVERY ROSE HAS ITS THORN by Erin Bradley outlines ten “types” of guys — based on America’s most beloved and notorious rock stars — to help you decode and take charge of your dating life. Whether you’re with a “Mannish Boy” like Bret Michaels; looking to end a relationship with “Mr. Big Stuff” (i.e., the Kanye Wests of the world); or pining for a “Sweet Child o’ Mine” (Jonas Brothers, anyone?), this book helps you weigh the pros and cons of dating each type. Filled with quizzes, quirky illustrations, and a “who’s who” of rock stars for each type, this book helps readers navigate the men many of us encounter in the dating world.

Purchase on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, or Indiebound.

If you’re taken:

BEYOND BLAME by Carl Alasko delves deep into the subject of blame, tackling why it’s so harmful and what we can do to banish it from our lives. For most of us, the urge to blame is so ingrained that we do it without thinking. This habit extends from minor situations (a spilled drink) to major ones (war, natural disaster) but, according to Alasko, even the smallest instance of blame carries consequences.

Purchase on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, or Indiebound.

SHUT UP & DANCE by Jamie Rose is the story of how the author learned what it means to “let go” through dancing, and how it affected the way she lived and loved for the better. In a breezy style full of joie de vivre, Rose  recounts her struggle with romantic relationships—from unhealthy dependency to combative independence—and how the principles of great partner dancing opened her eyes to all the things she had been doing wrong.

Purchase on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, or Indiebound.

TALK TO ME LIKE I’M SOMEONE YOU LOVE by Nancy Dreyfus highlights the power of written messages to defuse tension and put an end to conflict, offering both sound advice and more than 100 “flashcards for real life” that can be utilized in the heat of the moment. Witnessing the life-changing power of these flashcards in her own therapy sessions, Dreyfus brings this one-of-a-kind relationship tool, along with her extensive and insightful “field notes,” to a broader audience.

Purchase on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, or Indiebound.

For everyone:

ATTACHED by Amir Levine, M.D. and Rachel Heller – Though many relationship guides tell us how to date, what games to play or how to behave in marriage, few address these questions head on and provide answers based on the latest scientific research. However, that’s exactly what psychiatrist and neuroscientist Dr. Amir Levine and social-organizational psychologist Rachel Heller offer in their accessible and groundbreaking book. Combining facts and clear analysis with engaging personal stories from over 100 interviewees, ATTACHED is a fascinating read for anyone with an interest in the “why” behind their actions and relationships.

Purchase on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, or Indiebound.

Nine years ago, Whitley and I exchanged Valentine’s on our website. I wrote a diary and he wrote a journal, and neither of us knew what the other had written until we posted them and then–we discovered we had written about the same thing: The time when Whitley first told me about his close encounter experience, and also our joyously improbable first meeting—through an early computer dating service in 1969!

WHITLEY’S JOURNAL

I’d been living alone in New York for about six months and I was LONELY. I opened the Village Voice and saw an ad for something called “Mind Mates.” I sent for the form, and filled out all the pages. When I got a list of names in the mail, all the girls on it had the last names of birds or fish except Anne, so I called her first. I will never forget walking into her place of work. I asked for Anne Mattocks, and, to my amazement, the beautiful receptionist said, “I’m Anne.” Even more, she went to lunch with me. And she was brilliant and fun and, to my amazement, seemed to enjoy being with me. Thus began what has become a forty-two year honeymoon.

When I had a close encounter of the third kind in 1985, it almost ruined everything. I thought that I was going insane, and I knew that Anne would be legally unable to divorce me if I became incompetent, so I tried to get her to divorce me so that she and our son would have some kind of a chance if I ended up in a mental institution.

But Anne absolutely refused to say goodbye to our love affair. In fact, she began using her powerful mind to give me the intellectual support I needed to come to the understandings that I have finally reached. So thank you, dear love, for your bravery and your faith in this wild and crazy man.

ANNE’S DIARY

When I think back on our marriage of 42 years, what comes to the fore is the time we almost divorced.

This was shortly after what has become known as the “Communion Experience.” Whitley was acting strangely–buying alarm systems and guns, and checking the locks on the doors and windows every night. He started picking fights with me in a unique way: He’d tell me all the bad things about himself, then say I should file for divorce.

Eventually, after he’d had several hypnosis sessions and met a group of other abductees,  he discovered that his terrifying memories of strange beings had a basis in reality. Before this, he’d thought he was losing his mind and he’d wanted me to leave him before he went completely crazy, so I wouldn’t have to go through the agony of committing him to a mental hospital. So when I finally asked him why he wanted me to leave, he said, “I think I’ve been abducted by aliens.”

My response? “Thank God! It’s not me after all!” And I never doubted for a single moment that he was telling the truth. What that truth actually is, though, it has taken the two of us over thirty years to understand, and I am very proud of the role I have played in that effort. We have lived a life at the extreme edge of strangeness, but also in the arms of deepest love, which is the great achievement of our long marriage, and our joy.

You can visit Whitley and Anne Strieber’s blog here.

Purchase SOLVING THE COMMUNION ENIGMA on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, or Indiebound

Valentine’s Day

1. 73% of guys said their primary interest in women is to find someone to have a relationship with. That’s right, guys are out there hunting for girlfriends, not just pieces of ass.
2. Guys aren’t “biologically driven to spread their seed.” The theories we always read about how science makes guys act like dicks are actually just theories, meaning they cant be proven. Evidence against this one: only 8% of guys said their primary interest in women is sex.
3. Guys care about looks way LESS than you might think. They consistently rated intelligence, sense of humor and being nice/caring as more important.
4. We’re not the only ones freaking out a little bit before a date. On a scale from 1-10, guys rated their average pre-date nervousness a 4.
5. When guys get turned off on a date, it’s because they sensed bad conversation (34%), bad manners (16%) or a bad attitude (35%). It’s not because you didn’t wear your fuck-me pumps.
6. In-between dates, a guy who likes you wants to hear from you. Only 2% said they wanted to be the ones always initiating contact.
7. 99% of guys said they’d want to be in a relationship if the right girl came along. Dating a guy who says he’s not ready to commit? Don’t excuse this as “guy behavior,” cut him loose and go find a better one.

Truth is, there are plenty of relationship-minded single guys out there wishing they were spending this holiday with you! So get out there and meet them. And after you do, run them through Amber’s iPhone App, A-Hole Tester, and make sure they pass. It’s free today in honor of Valentine’s.

 Purchase ARE ALL GUYS A**HOLES on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, or Indiebound.

Below is a recipe from THE BOOK CLUB COOKBOOK by Vicki Levy Krupp and Judy Gelman. It fouses on Kathryn Stockett’s The Help and features a recipe for chocolate pie. Fortunately, this recipe comes from Stockett’s childhood family maid, Demetrie, and is not Minny’s “terrible awful” revenge pie in the book!

Demetrie’s Chocolate Pie

Stockett writes: Demetrie didn’t write recipes down. She put in a pinch of this and a drop of that, adjusting her ingredients
with the humidity or her mood. Her cakes and pies were exquisite. Finally, my grandmother asked her to please put her recipes on paper and that was probably the first time any of us admitted that one day Demetrie wouldn’t be there to cook for us. I ought to tell you, you might get some suspicious looks if you serve it at a book club. If you’ve read The Help, you’ll understand why.

NOTE : Do not use cocoa powder that contains powdered milk.

Ingredients:

• 10 cups water
• 5 tablespoons sweetened cocoa powder, such as Ghirardelli (see note)
• 3 tablespoons cornstarch
• 1 14-ounce can sweetened condensed milk
• 3 egg yolks, beaten
• 2 tablespoons butter
• 1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
• 1 9-inch pie shell, prebaked (plain or graham cracker)
• Whipped cream (or if it’s not too humid, you can top with meringue)
• Shaved chocolate to sprinkle on top for looks

1. In a medium-size, cool saucepan, mix water, cocoa, and cornstarch with a whisk until all the lumps are gone, making a paste. Stir in condensed milk and egg yolks. Heat to just under a boil and stir until it’s thick.
2. Reduce heat to low and stir in butter. Add in your good vanilla, and keep stirring well. Turn off the heat and let it cool some. Pour into a prebaked pie shell, store-bought if that’s how you do things.
3. Let the pie set up in a cool spot, like a plug-in refrigerator, covering with waxed paper so you don’t get a skin. Dollop cream on top, or top with meringue.

Yield: One 9-inch pie, 6 to 8 servings

Preorder THE BOOK CLUB COOKBOOK on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, or Indiebound

• Sends mixed messages—about his/her feelings toward you or about his/her commitment to you.

• Longs for an ideal relationship—but gives subtle hints that it will not be with you.

• Desperately wants to meet “the one”—but somehow always finds some fault in the other person or in the circumstances that makes commitment impossible.

• Disregards your emotional well-being—and when confronted, continues to disregard it.

• Suggests that you are “too needy,” “sensitive,” or “overreacting”—thus invalidating your feelings and making you second-guess yourself.

• Ignores things you say that inconvenience him or her—doesn’t respond or changes the topic instead.

• Addresses your concerns as “in a court of law”— responding to the facts without taking your feelings into account.

• Your messages don’t get across—despite your best efforts to communicate your needs, he or she doesn’t seem to get the message or else ignores it.

Note that it is not specific behaviors that threaten to become smoking guns but rather an emotional stance—an ambiguity about the relationship that goes hand in hand with a strong message that your emotional needs are not so important to him or her. He or she may say the right things at times, but his/her actions tell a different story.

Purchase ATTACHED on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, or Indiebound.

Looking for some Valentine’s Day delicacies that’ll have your date feeling the love? Check out these literary-themed recipes from the Book Club Cookbook:

Glogg (Hot Spiced Wine) inspired by The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo

1 750-milliliter bottle red wine (see note)
1 cup Maderia wine
6 tablespoons brown sugar
3 1-inch pieces orange peel
3-inch stick cinnamon, plus 8 (6-inch) cinnamon sticks for garnish (optional)
6 whole cloves
3 whole cardamom pods, cracked

1. Put all of the ingredients in a medium stainless-steel saucepan. warm gently over medium-low heat until steaming, but do not boil. Simmer for 10 minutes, continuing to watch closely so liquid does not boil.
2. Serve immediately. Or, for best flavor, cover pot and refrigerate 12-24 hours to let spices steep. Reheat gently. To serve: Strain liquid into tempered glass mugs and garnish with a cinnamon stick if desired.

Yield: Eight 4-ounce servings

NOTE: Choose a medium-bodied burgundy or blend that is not too fruity and not too dry. It’s not necessary to buy an expensive wine because the spices will infuse it with flavor.

Oyster Brie Soup (the Grove Park Inn’s recipe) inspired by Water for Elephants

                       
1. To make the soup: In a large soup pot, melt one stick of butter. Add the celery, onions, and white and cayenne peppers. Stir and cook over low heat until vegetables begin to soften.

2. In a small saucepan, melt the second stick of butter. Make a roux as a base for thickening the soup by combining the melted butter and the flour. Cook at least 2 minutes, stirring constantly. Add the roux and the cheese to the soup pot. Add the water, cream, oysters, and their liquor. Simmer the soup until the oysters begin to curl. Add the champagne and sherry and heat through.

3. To be extra fancy, garnish each bowl with a single deep-fried breaded oyster. To make the deep-fried oysters: Place 2-3 inches of oil in a deep fryer or large pot and heat to 375° F. Combine flour, salt, and pepper. Dredge oysters in flour mixture, dip in egg, and roll in bread crumbs.

4. Place oysters gently into hot oil. Cook until golden brown, about 2 minutes (if less oil, turn until golden brown on one side with tongs and fry until both sides are golden brown). Drain briefly on paper towels before garnishing soup.

Yield: 8 to 10 servings

Preorder THE BOOK CLUB COOKBOOK on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, or Indiebound.

“We think of creativity as being some airy fairy thing,” said Julia Cameron, “but the truth is, it takes great focus and grounding—and that’s what this toolkit brings to people. It’s absolutely seductive.”

Features of the My Artist’s Way Toolkit include:

• Daily Inspirations and Affirmations which can be e-mailed to friends
• An interactive notebook that can be personalized and that can incorporate images. The notebook offers:
• Weekly exercises from The Artist’s Way and The Artist’s Way Workbook
• Weekly prompts and ideas for Artist’s Dates, one of the central Artist’s Way tools
• Journal pages that are searchable as well as browse-able by calendar date
• Audio inspiration or “Creative Soundbites”
• Creative Notes (i.e., digital sticky notes) that capture fleeting moments of inspiration

Designed for a new generation of creatives, professionals and aspiring artists who are more likely to leave home armed with an iPhone or laptop than a journal, the My Artist’s Way Toolkit & App will motivate users to cultivate their creativity every day.

Visit www.MyArtistsWayToolkit.com or click here to view a virtual tour of the Toolkit’s web platform.

Purchase The Artist’s Way on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, or Indiebound.

See below for five self-statements that distinguish procrastinators from producers.

• Replace “I have to” with “I choose to.” - The language, attitudes, ad behaviors of producers can be acquired through specific, on-the-job practice. For example, if you’re at your desk looking at a pile of unanswered mail and a list of unreturned telephone calls, the first thing you may notice is that your shoulders begin to droop forward in a depressed, burdened fashion. This is a clear signal that, even if you haven’t heard yourself say, “I have to,” you feel victimized rather than responsible and powerful. At that moment of awareness, immediately choose to work or accept responsibility for choosing to delay.
• Replace “I must finish” with “When can I start?” - “When can I start” is the catchphrase of the producer. It automatically follows any worries about finishing and being overwhelmed, and replaced agitated energy with a clear focus on what can be tackled now. It works like a feedback device that pushes any wavering focus back to thes tarting point of the project.
• Replace “This project is so big and important” with “I can take one small step.” – Whenever you begin to feel overwhelmed by the large, grand project that looms before you, remind yourself, “I can take one small step. one small step; one rough, rough draft; one imperfect sketch; one small hello. That’s all I need to do now.” you can never build a house all at once. Al you can do now is pour the concrete for the foundation; hammer one nail; raise a wall–one small step at a time.
• Replace “I must be perfect” with “I can be perfectly human.” – Replace demands for perfect work with acceptance of (not resignation to) your human limits. Accept so-called mistakes (really feedback) as part of a natural learning process. You need self-compassion rather than self-criticism to support your courageous efforts at facing the unavoidable  risks of doing real, imperfect work rather than daydreaming of the perfect, completed project.
• Replace “I don’t have time to play” with “I must take time to play.” – Insisting on your regular time for exercise, for dinners with friends, for frequent breaks throughout your day, and for frequent vacations throughout your year increases the feelings of inner worth and respect for yourself that are at the haert of unlearning the need for procrastination.

Purchase THE NOW HABIT on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, or Indiebound

But this year, forget quick fixes to help ignite your love life for one day out of the year. See below for some very simple tips from ATTACHED author Amir Levine that can help you rekindle your love—and keep it that way, every day.

1. Whip out that old frisby from the garage– Spend some time playing together.  Yes, real play.  Get out there with a ball or a frisby or your dog and enjoy some rough and tumble.  Studies show that when there’s a distraction in place, especially one that gets your heart rate up, your guards are lowered and you can more easily access your loving feelings.
2. Take a guide book and do a walking tour of your own city – Positive mutual experiences create the release of endorphins and a resulting feel-good experience.  By sharing great experiences with your partner, you’re conditioning yourselves to associate those positive feelings with one another.
3. Read something interesting you came across out loud to each other — studies show that the more self-expansion people experience from their partner, the more committed and satisfied they are in the relationship.  Find ways to share your about the things you’re passionate about, or just interesting things you learn with your partner.
4. Volunteer together for some good cause – Whether you’re passionate about animals or underprivileged children, nothing is more gratifying than giving something of yourself to those who need it most.  Instead of having this powerful experience on your own, share it with your partner.

Purchase ATTACHED on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, or Indiebound.