HOW TO: Reconnect with Your Spouse by Amir Levine, author of ATTACHED.

January 18, 2012 by  
Filed under DailyTarcher, Great Ideas, How To.

 People often vow to make their relationships better around Valentines Day. This usually entails elaborate plans, expensive gifts and extravagant dates and getaways.   Couples try to “spice things up” with sexy lingerie or exotic vacations, but the results are short-lived at best or downright disappointing at worst. And to top it all off, they spend a lot of hard-earned money in the process.

With such high expectations from one event, it is no wonder we can’t live up to the hopes and fantasies we created around them.  Instead, try reconnecting with your partner in a much more economic and effective way, every day.  Scientific findings reveal different and much simpler strategies that are more likely to bring you the results you’re looking for.

Here are some very simple tips that can help you rekindle your love—and keep it that way.

  1. Sit at the corner table at a restaurant.  Find a way to spend some time super-close to your partner—so close that you’re touching.  Research findings shows that when we snuggle up to our mate, oxytocin is released.  This hormone and neuropeptide, also termed the “cuddle hormone” strengthens attachment and trust.  By being really close to your partner, you’re getting your oxytocin boost—and you’re enhancing your relationship all at the same time.  Other ways to get that oxytocin boost:
  2. When you’re watching TV together, give the recliner seat a pass and snuggle up close to your partner on the sofa instead.
  3. Linger in bed a bit longer on Sunday mornings.  The ipad can wait. Your emails are beckoning, but give everything else a pass for just a few minutes longer.  Trust us, this is more important!
  4. Spend at least two hours alone together every a week. It really doesn’t matter where. The important part is that you have no distractions—kids, technology, or work. Paradoxically, the more secure you feel in a relationship, the more you should follow this tip because it’s easier to lose track of one another when all’s well and your attention is directed outwards: to work, children, and hobbies. Don’t forget to refill that well you’re drawing your vitality from.

Purchase ATTACHED on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, or Indiebound.

Other recommended reads…

9781416550211WOMEN WHO LOVE TOO MUCH by Robin Norwood
This  a #1 New York Times bestseller that empowers women to ask these hard questions:
  • Do you find yourself attracted again and again to troubled, distant, moody men — while “nice guys” seem boring?
  • Do you obsess over men who are emotionally unavailable, addicted to work, hobbies, alcohol, or other women?
  • Do you neglect your friends and your own interests to be immediately available to him?
  • Do you feel empty without him, even though being with him is torment?

This groundbreaking work will enable you to recognize the roots of your destructive patterns of relating and provide you with a step-by-step guide to a more rewarding way of living and loving. Read more here!

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  1. [...] In this landmark book, authors Amir Levine and Rachel Heller reveal how an understanding of adult attachment-the most advanced relationship science in existence today-can help us find and sustain love. Pioneered by psychologist John Bowlby in the 1950s, the field of attachment posits that each of us behaves in relationships in one of three distinct ways: anxious; avoidant; and secure. ATTACHED guides readers in determining what attachment style they and their mate (or potential mate) follow, offering a road map for building stronger, more fulfilling connections with the people they love. Read more here! [...]

  2. […] repair kit = TALK TO ME LIKE I’M SOMEONE YOU LOVE Flash cards + ATTACHED by  Amir Levine+ $100 SpaFinder gift […]



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