The Read List: Three Ways to Connect

Discover the science behind lasting personal relationships.

Whether you’re looking to build a new relationship, strengthen a developing bond, or heal an existing partnership, these books reveal the road maps for harmonious connections and happier, more fulfilling lives.

WIRED TO CONNECT: The Surprising Link Between Brain Science and Strong, Healthy Relationships by Dr. Amy Banks with Leigh Ann Hirschman

We all experience moments when we feel isolated and alone. A 2006 Purdue University study found that twenty-five percent of Americans cannot name a single person they feel close to.

Yet every single one of us is hardwired for close relationships.

The key to more satisfying relationships—be it with a significant other, a family member, or a colleague—is to strengthen the neural pathways in our brains that encourage closeness and connection.

In this groundbreaking book, Dr. Banks give us a road map for developing the four distinct neural pathways in the brain that underlie the four most important ingredients for close relationships: calmness, acceptance, emotional resonance, and energy.

Wired to Connect gives you the tools you need to strengthen the parts of your brain that encourage connection and to heal the neural damage that disconnection can cause.

ATTACHED: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How it Can Help You Find–and Keep–Love by Amir Levine, M.D. and Rachel S.F. Heller, M.A.

We rely on science to tell us everything from what to eat to when and how long to exercise, but what about relationships? Is there a scientific explanation for why some people seem to navigate relationships effortlessly, while others struggle?

According to psychiatrist and neuroscientist Dr. Amir Levine and Rachel Heller, the answer is a resounding “yes.”

In Attached, Levine and Heller reveal how an understanding of adult attachment-the most advanced relationship science in existence today-can help us find and sustain love. Pioneered by psychologist John Bowlby in the 1950s, the field of attachment posits that each of us behaves in relationships in one of three distinct ways:

  • Anxious people are often preoccupied with their relationships and tend to worry about their partner’s ability to love them back.
  • Avoidant people equate intimacy with a loss of independence and constantly try to minimize closeness.
  • Secure people feel comfortable with intimacy and are usually warm and loving.

In this book, Levine and Heller guide readers in determining what attachment style they and their mate (or potential mate) follow—offering a road map for building stronger, more fulfilling connections with the people they love.

THE ENERGIES OF LOVE: Invisible Keys to a Fulfilling Partnership by Donna Eden and David Feinstein

A relationship begins with the meeting of two unique energies.

This union, though invisible, determines the way you communicate, fight, love, and want to be loved.

In their groundbreaking book, the bestselling authors of Energy Medicine and Energy Medicine for Women, present a complete program for using energy medicine to heal and strengthen romantic relationships.

Drawing on the real-life experiences of couples who have attended their popular “Energies of Love” workshops, as well as their own experience as husband and wife, Eden and Feinstein demonstrate how an understanding of your energy system–and that of your partner–will result in a more harmonious and loving bond.